First Date

So today was my first date with a counselor. I’ve never been to one before although arguably because of everything I went through as a teenager I probably should have. But alas I decided to finally take the plunge. Not so much because I think I need help now but more for preparing myself for TTC again and all the ups and downs that could come with that. I know that if I have another m/c I could potentially lose myself again and that scares me more than anything.

So I wake up early, start to get ready, and *drats* I can’t figure out what to wear. It’s like a real first date. I’m pulling stuff out of the closet, putting it on, taking it off, throwing it on the floor, and repeat. It takes me a good 20 minutes to pick out what I finally want to wear. I keep thinking “If I wear this she’ll think I’m a bum,” “If I wear this she’ll think I’m high maintenance,” etc.

So I walk in the door, fill out some papers, and before I know it I’m back in her office. On our way back to her office she says “You look cute, I love that outfit”  *YESSSS* I kinda grinned and little did she know this made my day. My effort had not gone unnoticed. 🙂

It was a great session and she said we will discussion my “plan” next week. I will be seeing her once a week while we “get to know each other” then I’ll go as needed. I really liked her and it was comforting to hear someone tell me that I’ve done well coping and dealing with everything up to this point. She kept telling me how good I have done. Which was a good feeling. Because there are times I doubt whether I am handling all this very well or falling apart at the seams. It was nice to hear a professional say that I haven’t f*cked myself up too bad. haha!

Also today Fed-Ex brought another smile. As I posted a week or so ago a dear friend of mine sent me a Care Package of sorts. Well a few days later I got another package, apparently a few things shipped separately.  She sent me a book called “So Close”

It was an amazing read and I loved the ending. This woman endured 9 IVF’s to conceive her twins. In that process she had a ectopic pregnancy, miscarriage, one still born twin, the other passed shortly after birth, and finally twins. She endured so much yet still kept going. It gave me hope and motivation to keep pushing forward with this journey. Eventually it pays off. This book gave me hope of that.

Today Fedex brought the last of the Care Package she sent. It was a pair of socks. I laughed out loud when I saw what was on them! I love them!!!

That’s right! They have little sperm on them and the side says “Only the Strong Survive!” I LOVE THESE!!! They are going to be perfect for my u/s! 

Thank You Rachel for all the wonderful things you sent me. I really appreciate you taking time out to do this for me. You are such an amazing woman. For those of you that don’t know Rachel she suffered years of infertility. She now has a beautiful little boy and I could not be happier for her! Love you girl!!!