*Trigger Warning: Miscarriage mentioned in post. Please come back for another post if you aren’t ready for this one.
Last week was an intense whirlwind. I cried almost every day because of stress at work and I felt out of sorts all week. I am in the middle of a deep spring cleaning of almost everything we own and although it feels good to get things organized it’s stressful for sure.
We are entering a huge audit at work and I was thrown into it at the last minute because things weren’t getting done and have been playing catch up ever since.
Needless to say, by Thursday night I was ready for an alcoholic beverage (and I NEVER drink) and using a personal day on Friday. I battled with whether or not I could really afford (work load wise) to take the day off. After an insightful conversation with my mom I decided I needed to go to work. I couldn’t let the week defeat me.
Friday morning was instant chaos and I was questioning my decision almost immediately. I was in the middle of speaking to an unexpected visitor when one of the supervisors said, “I need to see you in my office”. I instantly almost cried because I could not take one more thing, but as I walked in I noticed the look of worry on her face and she said, “Nothing bad for you, I just need you to take an employee to the hospital, she thinks she is having a miscarriage”.
I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. We got a company car and we were on our way. I talked to her on the way there and tried to remember all the things I NEVER wanted to hear and made sure not to say those. I didn’t tell her it would all be ok, and I didn’t dismiss her worry. I knew how she was feeling, I was feeling it too. The rush of it came back like a waterfall over me.
I went back to her room with her (she asked me to) and tried to be as helpful as I could through the IV, and questions. Her boyfriend arrived and I let her know to let me know if she needed anything and then I left. The drive back to work alone was surreal. I have never been on the other side before, not directly anyways. I have never been the one driving to the hospital with a tearful woman next to me, and I have never been the one sitting across from a woman with an IV and gown on.
I said a prayer for her and her baby, and then I thanked God. Thanked Him you asked?? Yes, I thanked Him. For somehow nudging me to not call in to work, for letting me be the one to be there for her. If anyone understands what that feels like, it’s me, and I am thankful I was able to be there as opposed to someone else who may have said all the wrong things in a moment like that.
I have kept her in my prayers and as Sunday came and I remembered it was my angelversary I was humbled. I was a wreck all week at work, ready to throw in the towel and resort to my bed the whole day on Friday, but instead, I received a reminder that things could always be worse, and that I am stronger now for what I’ve been through and that every struggle comes with a lesson.
This week has already been much better (especially since we got election day off on Tuesday) and I am thankful that God has been speaking to me so loudly recently, or for that matter, that I’ve been listening a little better recently.