Happy Birthday Peanut!

Last year I got to plan a birthday party. The foster child I had in my home at the time was turning 2. Today, she will be 3. I won’t get a chance to see her, or help her blow out the candles, but I hope today she can feel the love I am sending to her.

I miss her and her brother so much. I know their mother loves them and I am so thankful they are home with her, but my heart hurts so much when I think not only of how much I miss them, but how much my family misses them.

I realized shortly after they went home that I could keep doing this, because every time a new child showed up in the middle of the night I was reminded how much I was needed. But I couldn’t keep putting my family through it. I feel like when it comes to me and having children, my family only knows pain and loss, and foster parenting only amplified that. I couldn’t see my family cry again because I had brought them another good-bye. Maybe one day I will have my own child, and my family can love them as much as they loved these children, and they won’t ever have to say good-bye. They won’t have to miss them for very long. They won’t have to cry.


Happy 3rd Birthday Peanut!
You changed my life and I hope you know love and happiness all of your days.
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