This morning I woke up, and I looked over at my boy Ruger…I see the signs of cancer taking over his body and it breaks my heart. But he still smiles, and wags his tail, and catches treats, that dog loves to eat…so until those things are gone he will remain.
I did notice this morning that it seems as though he is losing more weight. He has always been a very hefty dog so it’s noticeable that he’s showing more bones and less rolls.
the earlier years
I realized that I need to start having the discussion with the vet about knowing when it’s time to say good-bye. He has always been there for me, through all the pain and all the joy, and I don’t want him to be in pain. I don’t want to keep him here for my own selfish reasons. While I don’t know think his time is soon, I know it’s closer than I’ll admit. While he is still happy, and eating, and seemingly healthy, I want to have those discussions now, to make it easier when things get rough and I’m not thinking straight.
I read a few things online today because well, if infertility taught me one thing (or didn’t teach me for that matter) is that Google is an unlimited source of things you should or shouldn’t read about medical and or life decisions.
I did come across this story about some pet owners that made the decision to make their dog’s last day joyous and it ended peacefully in a park. *warning* Have your tissues ready if you read this. It hit me like a ton of bricks at work and I could barely contain myself…
So for now, we will keep enjoying our time with him. Day by day. And I pray that he will let me know when he’s ready and that it will be peaceful.
Sorry for the downer post today. For some reason it just hit me this morning and I’ve been off every since I left the house. I’ve wanted to go home since I got to work this morning and just lay with him and cuddle…