First BFN of 2011

Well most of you don’t know that I have been on my first round of fertility medications since my miscarriage two years ago. We have done a few random unmonitored rounds of Femara in the past two years but in all honesty we were just trying to force ourselves to move on with our lives and try to get pregnant again, we felt like that was the only way to truly heal from all of this. Well like I said in a previous blog thanks to therapy and just good old fashioned time, we truly feel like we have healed from our previous miscarriages and let downs and it didn’t take a successful pregnancy to do so. We feel like our marriage and other aspects of our life are finally back on track.

The cards just kind of played out right, I had been debating on starting a round of medications when I got back from Mexico (since I already had the Bravelle in the fridge from thinking about trying a few months before) and AF showed up all on her own. So we decided that was our sign to just jump right into it and we started injections.

I did Bravelle for 10 days (starting CD3) 1 vial a day – and Femara for 5 days (Starting CD3) 5mg a day.

I had my follicle ultrasound on Saturday June 4th and I had 3 good mature follicles (I don’t remember the measurements right now – will update later.) So we did our trigger shot Sunday the 5th.

I had my mandatory blood work this morning at 8am. Which as a side note for someone that works nights, I go to bed around 3am. I have to be up and out of the door by 7am or so to make it to the Dr’s office on time with morning traffic. And when you are pretty sure you know the results are going to be negative (thanks to POAS) it is NOT a fun drive.

The nurse called while I was in a meeting (doesn’t it always happen that way) and sure enough the beta was negative. So she said they want us to take a month off to give my ovaries a break and she wants us to have an appt with Dr. Henry to see what our next step is. Which for anyone that is wondering will just be injections again, I responded really well and I don’t see a need in moving any further. And on that note IVF is pretty much the next step, and unless I can find someone to fund that for us (which isn’t going to happen) we will stick with injections.

I’d by lying if I said I wasn’t a little bummed out, and although I haven’t really kept Nate completely in the loop with specifics he knows the results and he seems pretty bummed too. It’s a little hard to believe that with three follicles that not even one fertilized or implanted. But obviously that is just the way it works sometimes.

I have said through this whole cycle that I am ok if it doesn’t work, and I truly mean that. I know there are worse things that can happen than a failed cycle. And although sure it stings a little that it didn’t work, the sting of another miscarriage is a whole lot worse. If it is not our time to be parents, we are ok with that, but we don’t want to have to go through another miscarriage to find that out, a failed cycle is ok by me.

Thanks for the few of you that did know what I was doing and supported me and helped me keep my positive outlook through the cycle. We will be taking a cycle off then back on the horse again. We pray that if it is our time that God give us the strength and peace to endure more medications or whatever it takes to get to that point, and if it is not our time, that God continue to give us peace and understanding in His will for us.


6 thoughts on “First BFN of 2011

  1. I fully believe that God was watching out for you. Like you said, a failed cycle is better than a MC, and maybe the egg that would have stuck this cycle would have been one. I'm praying for you sweetie, and I hate this for you.


  2. Oh man…. Lavonne, I am so sorry for the BFN. Well, don't lose hope. I belong to a forum for BTers and most of the women have success stories on there, it can happen….. My fingers are crossed for you, always 🙂


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