Dream Baby

I have always been a dreamer. Literally. Always had dreams that I can usually remember. Crazy, wild, sci-fi like, you name it I’ve had it. But none like last night’s dream. It is still so vivid in my head that I can’t seem to focus on anything else today. My mind is cloudy with the dream.

I was in a room with two other women standing above me. Before I know it something makes me reach down and I give birth to the most perfect, dark headed, baby. The perfect combination of Nate and I. More perfect than I ever thought I could even dream up. He was beautiful. The feelings that came over me were indescribable. I kept saying to myself in the dream, “You know this is a dream, your going to wake up and none of this is going to be true.” But it just kept going, it almost had me believing it was all real. It felt so real. They took the baby to be cleaned and before I knew it the baby was wrapped in a big blue blanket in my arms with the cutest white and blue striped hat. I can remember every detail. How he smelled. The feelings that were rushing all over my body. It felt so real.

I woke up and was obviously in tears. Although I was sad it was just a dream, it just reminded me that this is all going to be worth it. Those feelings I felt in that dream. If it feels half that good having a child then I will go through anything to get there. I know God will bless us with a child, I believe that was his way of telling me to keep dreaming, to keep believing, and to remain patient. It will happen.

I feel a sort of emptiness today though. Like I am missing a piece of me now. Like I felt those feelings and yet now they are gone, yet still a piece of it remains. It’s the weirdest feeling I have ever gotten from a dream. It felt so real…

Dear Lord
Thank you lord for all the blessings in my life
help me to remember them as I face the challenges of infertility
I pray I can surrender myself into your hands
let me accept the reality of this situation
and have the wisdom and courage to take action where I can
strengthen my body, mind and spirit to endure
the trials of infertility. Keep me ever mindful of the needs of
others and grant us your peace

2 thoughts on “Dream Baby

  1. Lavonne.. I had that same type of dream weeks from finding out I was finally preggo with Hannah I REALLY hope this is a sign that your miracle is close by!!! You are very strong and I will be in tears ( happy ones) the day I find out YOU are finally expecting your miracle!


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