Today I got a chance to watch some of my old baby tapes, mainly my first 4 birthdays and a Christmas program from church. My favorite thing about watching those videos is not watching myself, but hearing the voice of the man behind the camera. It’s my grandpa’s voice. He passed away 12 years ago in July. He helped raised me and was another dad to be in every sense of the word.
My grandpa was an amazing man that I miss every single day. He could light up a room and make anyone pay attention to him. I hear a lot “You are JUST like your Grandpa!” I obviously take that as a huge compliment. He was a big talker and loved anything computers. When I was little I stayed with my grandparents a lot and I would wake up in the middle of the night and he would always be in his computer room working on some new computer he was building or someone else’s computer fixing whatever was going on. He would always let me sit and “help.” Because of this there are things I feel like were absorbed at a very young age and there is a lot of technology that I just “get” and have no clue how I know what I know. He taught me a great deal and I hope when he looks down he is proud of the life I have made of myself. (And I just know he would think my job was the coolest thing every – I get to sit in front of a computer all day and play around and design stuff – he would LOVE it – and he would get it, and I would have someone to talk to about all of it that wouldn’t sit there with a blank stare having no clue what I was talking about)
I wish he would have been here to meet my husband, and it kills me he won’t be around when I have kids. (That is still one of the biggest fears of not having children right now – is my other grand parents not getting to meet them if I wait – but that’s another blog for another day)
It was so good hearing his voice say my name in the videos. Telling me to smile. Calling me punkin. Which I haven’t heard in so long. It was such a comforting feeling and I know that no matter what he is always here with me. I am also grateful that my parents and grand parents took videos when I was a kid and that I will always have those memories that no one can take away.