Regaining Me

Hmm well what to say…so much has changed in just a short time. First and foremost I got a new job. Working for the same company I have been with for four years, but finally, after waiting for a VERY long time! I am now doing what I love, page layout and design. I have been in this position a month on Thursday and I have loved every day. Also, more importantly, I am working nights now. Which is more than amazing since Nate has been working nights since pretty much right after we got together. For the first time in our marriage/relationship we are experiencing a very new side of what having a “normal” schedule is. People take for granted how much just making dinner together or brushing your teeth together in a small bathroom are the small things that I have missed more than anyone could ever imagine. Although I think we were both worried how well it was going to go at first because I mean come on, we have been used to having our own space for about 4 years now. We aren’t used to sharing our time and space with each other. But it has gone no other way than great, and we are discovering just how much we missed each other.

My doctors put me on Metformin. Apparently insulin problems have now started from my PCOS. Of course I am horrible at taking it every day so I’m not real sure it’s working to the best of it’s ability. (I even got a cool daily pill dispenser – but all it does is sink to the bottom of my purse) But I am still trying to learn a schedule with it and figure I’ll get it down eventually. haha!

I have yet to have a period since June 22nd. So apparently although I had hoped that months of infertility medications may have some how “kick started” my ovaries or something, that doesn’t seem to have worked. And so I wait. I’m ok with it. I can’t say I miss the bloating, cramping, and overall suckieness that is “AF” but obviously it continues to be a reminder of just how many problems I have and how as soon as we decide to start “trying” again it’s not going to be any easier. I don’t know why I ever thought the problems were all in my head…probably just a combination of people assuming they were, and me hoping they were.

All and all. Life is good. My little brother got married a little over a month ago to a woman I love and admire and who has given me a beautiful niece that continues to be my saving grace. My older brother announced his wedding in Hawaii for next May that the family is now planning for. My best friend is getting married in Cancun the same week so I not only get to fly to Cancun but then have to fly to Hawaii and meet my family there for my brother’s wedding. (Rough I know – lol)

But everything is…it just is…I live my day one day at a time for myself and every day I feel more and more like myself again. Slowly but surely I am regaining the confidence and feelings of pride that I had lost from so many months and years of failure…

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