Spinning

It ha been a whirl wind 6 days. Every emotion you can imagine has rushed over me since I saw those two lines. Today has been particularly rough knowing that last time everything stopped at 5 weeks has made today (my 5 week mark) very hard. I wish there was a window on my belly so I could see that everything is ok. The past few days I have felt pretty sicks, boobs very sore, very emotional. And today I just feel normal. Once you’ve been through something for the first time and it went bad you can never imagine it going any other way. I can’t imagine my first u/s going any other way because I only ever experienced it one way. 

It’s so hard!!! And it’s making this week drag. I know how fast things can change. I go to the bathroom constantly but not because I have to. Because I wanna check and make sure. everything is ok. I just want to see that flutter. The heartbeat. our baby! I am trying so hard to just trust God and know that this is in his hands. I have to stay positive. It’s just so hard when you’ve experienced pain like I have.
We still haven’t told our families. We are waiting till after the first u/s. We are hoping to hav ea heartbeat to show them. I want to see my mom’s and dad’s faces so bad. I want to have good news to give them.
Lord give me peace.
Signed
Worried & Anxious
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