My Surgery

Well Friday to make a long story short my Dr did some blood work and figured out my levels were all wacked up so after an ultrasound they decided they needed to do a D&C. So we went ahead and decided to do it Friday. I knew it would affect our trip to Tennessee but I didn’t want to wait till the beginning of the week and worry about it all weekend. I was just ready for it all to be over so we could finally move on. We had to wait 3-4 hours in the pre-op room while they tried to fit me in. The surgery room was so cold. I tried to stare at the ceiling and not pay attention to the clanking of medical instruments beside me. Dr Henry walked in and made me smile by telling the nurses how cold it was in that room, then they put something in my IV, I felt like my whole body got heavy. The next thing I remember is waking up and asking where my husband was. He was apparently out in the hall harassing one of the nurses about when could he come in and see me. Seeing his face was the best feeling in the world. Knowing he was beside me and that even though I had lost so much I still had him…

Our trip to Tennessee went great. My aunt’s wedding was absolutely beautiful and everything I pictured for her perfect day. I have never seen her glow the way she did that day. It’s so nice to see her get what she deserves. We spent the rest of the time hanging out with family going to the Dixie Stampede, the Ripley’s aquarium, and just running around Gatlinburg. It was definitely nice to get some time to relax but nothing could really change how we felt. It’s hard not to get choked up when you see the parents with their kids at the aquarium, or that little girl who is as cute as can be sit next to you in a restaurant and seem to not look at anyone in the room but you. I smile and tell the parents how cute their kids are when really I just want to cry because I thought this time next year I would have a cute kid of my own, but that’s just not in the cards right now. It’s definitely the hardest thing I have ever faced in my life. It made it hard to enjoy the sunset over the mountains. It felt like a different place. When we went on our honeymoon it seemed so beautiful and bright. Not it just felt cold and lonely…

I send out my sympathy to anyone who has ever had to go through the same thing. We are pushing through it and luckily I have the best husband on this planet who has helped me through it all. Thank You to everyone who has been there for us along the way.

I am looking forward to having family over for Thanksgiving and having Trinity for the weekend. We made her a stick horse at the Dixie Stampede and I can’t wait to give it to her. Hope everyone has a great holiday weekend and if your traveling you make it wherever your going safe.

Not Myself


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